It is called STENGTH and unfortunately muscles dont have anything to do with it. What woman on here, who has suffered seeing her husband cheat by virtue of finding photos, text messages or any other way would tell you to have an affair with a married man? I look great for my age and look much younger than most 55 year old women. He stared me in the eye but wouldnt. Really afford it so Anyones opinion would help:) Does anyone know if I can go thought a local agency like YWCA etc for counseling? I have trusted my husband and the female friend that works with him in his buiness for 10 years. If he has performance anxiety in the bedroom, he may be more likely to be unfaithful in marriage. Wow-so many women who seem torn about what to do when it comes to a cheat in their life. I loved my husband with my whole heart. It sounds like he did do something dodgy that night or he would of told you where he went but I suggest you talk to him very calmly and just say that you wont get mad you just need to know if hes done it again because youd like to work things out for the sake of your children if he admits or not you should get couples counselling. I did look at his recent calls and didnt find number. I find peace in her response to him when he emailed her and she replied that she thought he couldnt have friends that were girls. Doesn't matter what its about (finding out his sexuality) he cheated on you with a man he sourced from the internet. I have no idea who he is. Also, Im probably in the minority with an unpopular view on porn. I pray you work through the negative emotions, and find yourself in a peaceful place on the other side of all that pain. The other day I told him I feel like Im on a roller coaster, up and down all the time, Im tired and want off, he began to tear up and said he cant loose me. Congratulations on your baby I hope all is well! We talk and i forgave him, thinking that this was going to stop. I deserve an explanation. I really do love him I just dont know how I could ever get pass this. I had a 1:1 that he agreed for me to talk with her about this. I was friends with him for years before we even ever dated. He has destroyed all the trust I ever had in us as a couple and him as my husband. us band works away i n ontario for 28 days n h omw for 2 weeks during all this time he constanltly accusse me of cheating or men coming on to me..I have never done nethin to cheat or give him reason to think I have or would..one day evrything is perfect n th e next terrible n fighting..he tells me somethin is wrong n that its worse then cheating..n doesnt know how to tell me I dont know wat to do or say nemore I have treied it all ne adivce, Ok so i have been with this guy for 3 years now and of course when i got with him i knew that he had a girlfriend and 2 kids with her but at the same he told me he hated her and didnt like her she was only living at his house for the kids and of course he lives with his parents. I have pulled away significantly since, where right after all this came out, I tried my best to help him. I found the texts and my world collapsed! Then my husband asks her to send him a photo of her. I told her that I wondered about how she carried herself, since she was being referred to as my husband P*$$& that she must be very inappropriate for that to be said about her. ), Thanks again for helping me in making a difference in the life of someone I never really thought about and finally I have.ME <3. He admitted she emailed him for the next four weeks and he would answer her back. Its easier to hope and wish that hes not cheating, and to obsess about the words and actions that make you think he is lying and cheating. I just cannot seem to grasp that. Now, while if he has taken the choice to cheat this is never your fault, you may wish to both look at your marriage to see if there were things you could both do in order to make you feel closer to each other. 1. Women who think their husbands would never cheat are destroyed when they find out their husbands are lying about cheating. I have to have clothes that are within my companys dress code. He has a drug addiction and I kicked him out well e spent all his time here with us. My prayer for you is for wisdom and clarity. She loses. Your venting helped me put the missing pieces together. Am I being super paranoid or have a good gut feeling? It very very clear that your husband is cheating. If I were you, Id suggest a session with a counselor. But to me, I will never ever trust him anymore. About a month ago I found out about my husbands affair, a couple weeks prior he started to tell me he didnt have feelings for me anymore and that he no longer was in love with..but loved me because I am the mother of his children. I just dont know what to do or think anymore. He left me briefly last November b/c he said we fought to much and he needed a break. And why does it seem like the only time he wants me is when becomes home that late from playing poker? he use to want to have sex 4 to 5 times a week and now if we do it once a week he doesnt mind. Thank you for sharing how to know if your husband is cheating. His affair has shattered my heart into pieces and then to blame me and steal my inheritance I got because my whole family has passed away is something I never ever would have expected of him in my life. I just found out my ex husband has been dating someone he met at work while we are married. I cant give personal advice because I dont know your situations, marriages, personalities, etc well enough. I was doubled over in severe emotional paun, crying out to God! He has all the signs of lying to, leaning away from me when I ask him about it, telling me that didnt happen, getting mad at me when I try talking about it, or just not saying anything when I talk about it. I discovered, after several months, people dont respond well to ultimatums, and all he did was talk to her behind my back. It may give you fresh insight into your relationship.and yourself. I did not mind since i was in pain after we both recovered we went to see the pyscologist and from that day he pretend to change. if you would like to get some more information about how to deal with these kind of situation just click on my nickname in the title of the comment. He always start agruments even in small things which always turn out to be a big issues between us. The very same day i went back to his house i found him with diferent woman again i left without talking to him. Kind of like for me if he can't admit it I'll never move past it. If we have been cleared before, and I am pregnant, why use condoms? I dont want any diseases especially being pregnant. 3 third times a charm right. My prayer is that you rally the courage to find the answers that are in your gut, and that you become strong and wise enough to face what you know to be true before it causes more damage in your life. I am going thru the same issues. There is no excuse for infidelity of any kind. Please help! I stayed home with the kids when they were babies, planned dates, read marriage books, self help books, planned weekend getaways, romantic suppers and weekends for the just the 2 of us. Hes always gone on his off days early in the am til late in the pm and on his work days he dont come home after work. I think my husband had an emotional affair online with a coworker. I bet he wont mind (proving that he doesnt care if you find out about thoes msgs) and after you delete about 10, youd realize why he didnt delete them all, its just too frustrating. You are a survivor, and you have the power to get through this and become a stronger, smarter, healthier woman. They need to risk honesty. We've been together 26 years and I don't want my marriage to end. does it really matter if you find out if he really cheated? "I excruciatingly suffered." I was shocked. Let him see that youve chosen to be above him and treatment of you. If you disrespect yourself, and allow him to lie and cheat and continue to mistreat you, then that is on you and in the end its the hardest thing to live with. And he denies it all. Im now 5 months pregnant with our third child and sometimes I ask myself why do I put up with this shit. How to Find Out the Truth. You will find another man, someone who wants only you. Send him packing! Its like dealing with a child. So, be real. i have been checking everything his computer, his mobile, his pockets, but i do not find anything! I am 24. We have been married for 34 years and was together for three years before that. Really? The children are also the ones getting hurt in the situation! Linda, you dont have to go anywhere to buy a tracker. Dont wait till he leaves for someone else! Doesnt offer a ride to a nearby urgent care to have it checked out. Rewriting history? Dont give him your power. I loved going out with her, dancing and having fun. SO I CALED HIM AND WE TEXTED AND CALLED EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES A DAY. The more they know you suspect or know the more they will try and hide it and the harder it will be for them to get caught! But this is about you, not him. So the kids hear us fight they are well aware of what is going on. He made sure she was going to be ok before he would leave her. So, whether its you blaming yourself or hes using you as an excuse for his behavior, dont let it fly. Stop blaming him. He gets all happy and giddy. You seem to be a very loving person, with hopes for a wonderful family. What do I do? He does not deserve your love or loyalty. That means shes is very close by like in the barn waiting on him. There is no question he is cheating and possible on drugs. Once you read some of this youll have an idea of what to do. I have a gut feeling that youre too good for this guy anyway!!! Im 25 with no children. Maybe thats why youre having such a hard time moving on, and why you cry a lot. so after all of that we worked out our differences and he moved in with me and my parents house everything was going great then bout 3months of everything going great i found out that he was going to see his other baby mama behind my back we fight argue he leaves for a week and then he comes back and everythings good for a month or so then i find out he is still lying to me about talking to his other baby mama and lying to me about doing pills and how much money he has and what he spent it on jus this last week so he kept asking me if i wanted him to leave and i told him to do what he wanted he is a big boy and guess what he packed his stuff and left now he keeps txting me saying he needs me he loves me he dont kno why he left i jus dont kno what to do i have 2 kids and i kno its not good for them to see us fightin i mean only one of my kids is his but still i dont kno what to do ne more. The advice i wil give to you guys stay focus and think deep in your heart what you want if you want to suffer for the rest of your live or you want trust, bright future ahead. It was a friend, who also disliked the girl. He admitted he deleted the emails as they came in. Just try to see the funny side. Something just feels off. In the meantime, I say he received a phone call from soneone and I just realized the persons name coincides with her lovers real last name. How cruel I thought! It sounds like youre very confused and upset I know I would be! Dear Crazy Lady, Don't predicate your healing on what your ex does or does not do. A married man took advantage of me 3 year ago. He would want to leave all the time. He swears that they have no contact anymore and he wants to make it work with me. What should I do? In the last few months my husbands behavior has changed, consistant flirting, he tells half truths or white lies and when I complain about his behavior toward other women he gets very aggressive professing hes not doing anything. Hi, I have been married for almost 2 years now.Off late my husband doesnt even want to have sex. I felt sick, he was crying and I told him you were not crying when you did this. I literaly have to beg him for a little extra money from him for our child, he works for the rail road, so I know he has the little bit of money that I ask for from him which normaly I dont ever ask for no more than maybe 50 dollors, but I only ask because he uses the car when he gets home and when he goes to work he leaves me with no emergency money and leaves the car with no gas, and with a baby thats just not good for either of us. His name might be on the deed but it was his that choose to cheat, so it should also be him that goes to stay in a hotel. Any advice? She said she wouldnt just because she wasnt looking for that, she wanted a relationship and she didnt want one with him because she didnt want to go down that road again. But his behavior has changed so drastically it kind of says to me that now that Im gone, he wants the single life. I dont know what else to do. i just want to know the truth. And, dont rely on the internet or online advice blogs! After pointing his finger and shaking it at me, he went to take a bath then to watch TV in our livingroom. I feel like crap, and cannot believe he would have dont that, but it seems rather apparent. It was a women but he said it was his friend who is male. Last year in June along with the cheating. She wants to meet me but i dont know if i want to meet her. Dont bother us with your egotistical, egocentric question of whether you should have an affair with a married man. I hope this helps. The best thing is to get evidence, so you have something solid to confront him with. At that point, its up to you if you want to stay and put up with it and continue to try, or if you want to go along with his actions and create some distance from him yourself. He said when he woke up he asked her and she said they did but didnt believe. When I nag, then he buys me things. Im thinking about leaving. Our early years and total of 3 kids plus his huge family interfering every chance they got.and on and on did put great strain on me (us). In the first year or so he had lied a few times about drug use which caused me to loose trust I noticed he has put a lock on his phone. It hit me straight in my stomach. After being in a relationship for 3 years, in January my husband sat down and openly admitted with tears and a cross in his hand that he cheated on me with his coworker. Okay, well then, my next question was where he slept if he didnt sleep with her? Thank u very much! I sat it all the time, but remember this. Our intimacy has came to a hault, we went from numberous times per day to maybe 1-3 times per month since March. I just hate that I dont trust him, but Ive always felt he needs attention from other women, and I feel like Im just not enough. I was single for about two years, when I first laid eyes on him. Is it me? Someone even told me the could be swingers. now he blames me for everything that goes wrong in his life,for instance about 2weeks ago he got the windscreen of his brand new car smashed by one of his girlfriends leading to a police case and guess who he blames? She said she didnt know where he was that she was not with her, she had left the shop. Hes had a cold, so I dont know if he was cleaning up or what. Why do you have this girl on your skype who you met long ag, the same time with me? He stays in touch with you even though he doesn't have to. at his work place. 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