Staying friends and sleeping with exes is a lot more common than you think. All you can do is go full no contact and wait for her to process the breakup. hey..my ex and me broke up a few months ago..i am doing no contact but he is hinting he just wants to be friends with me..even after no contact..what should i do..? And then when out of work you follow the normal no contact rules. What Can I Do? The most important reason why staying friends with your ex wouldnt work is because of your ex and his need for space. Do I need to check messages to know about someone we have been deeply in love and shared life? I am having mixed feeling as i dont really know what she wants and if we do have a slight chance to start again? THAT would have been nice. 4. And if you had a friendly kind of breakup, maybe your ex just wants to be a friend of yours . Notice how the conversation opens up with people who hold coveted places in your life. They seem to believe that love somehow makes human beings selfless. It is not a good idea to be friends with your ex just because they are afraid of change. 1. Do I have the write head space for this? The reason for that is because if you show zeal towards him or her, your ex will reasonably return less. Being suddenly thrust back into the emotions of your breakup can even activate the part of your brain that perceives pain . Needless to say, having those traits and taking initiative with your ex doesnt work well together. Youre thinking that this isnt what you actuallywant deep down, but this will at least allow you to still be in contact with this person that you care so much about. Assuming you do start dating someone else I havent met many people that are cool with their girlfriends or boyfriends being friends with their ex. When someone breaks up with you its essentially the same thing as having them admit. The girl he started to date lives 3 or 4 hours from him but he has a house where she is at and said he was just going to travel to see her but wasnt planning on moving back. 1. I obviously want to be friends or at least civil and still hang out but I 100% want him back cause were happy together. I am so angry but our daughters have missed their mother. Any advice? My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me two weeks ago. So, you break up and your ex offers you the option to still be friends with them. ! One of the biggest reasons that exes see one another again is that they have to get things back from each other. I initiated no contact, and I was started to feel better. Your email address will not be published. Fast forward to today. You need to read and follow the information about being Ungettable and then use this to show him how you are living your life with out him. I would describe the gift of friendship from your ex similar to getting that 50th pair of socks for Christmas. They want to be friends with benefits. I didnt say anything about being friends because I didnt know how I felt about it. Idk Im justifying something dumb I know but bare with me. It was really sad and I felt used, manipulated though she has great qualities that I love. You dont want to lose your relationship forever and youre wondering if friendship is a good way to get it back. Unfortunately, its a black or white situation. After one fight he said he needed space . Allow Yourself Time to Grieve. I was hoping if we ever did reconnect shed be able to tell me how nice everything is going and maybe she had found love. Me and my ex having been dating for 6 years. Care to take a guess at what situation that is? You are simply looking to remain friends with them and thats it. Why Is The Dumper Silent After A Breakup? The woman, known only as Jane Doe 1, is suing JP Morgan, where Staley was chief executive of its exclusive private bank until 2013 and had Epstein as a client.. After he found out, he broke up with me and I can honestly say that I had regret my decision instantly and I apologized sincerely and promised that it wouldnt happen again. Instead, you present yourself as the opposite needy and insecure. If not anything else, the reason why your ex wants to be friends with you is that they seek sex with no strings attached. Together, we were able to reverse it, but it was an uphill battle from the get-go. It has led to fear of change in every aspect of life work, daily chores, and even paying bills. Nothing to serious tho. Therapist and author of Temptations of the Single Girl, Nina Atwood, said it is not necessarily wrong to stay friends with an ex, but she advises that it can be challenging, and can leave you in a tough spot emotionally. His wife died almost a year ago so I know he is wanting to take things slow. On one hand, I hoped I would get him back, on the other hand, it broke me when he suggested me to consider one of our mutual friends. October 6, 2021 by Zan. So it is the minimum respect. Or just cut contact with no explanation? However, I think one thing we can universally agree on is that if you are in the friend zone you have some work to do before you can be trusted enough to have powerful conversations that are meaningful enough for your ex to consider you a lover again. Getting your ex back requires you to position yourself properly and the timing has to be right. We never told each other we loved each other. To want to be together and to believe that you can seduce your ex is more than half the . My ex wants to stay friends! Some will jump into bed with the first person they can find (see rebound relationships.) Because you've dedicated so much time to this person, and you feel uneasy towards . Exes arent interested in a romantic, nor friendly relationship with you. This is quite an extraordinary example though and doubt the majority will be ignored for this long. First of all if youre hoping to get back together and its looking impossible (probably because you havent had a coaching session yet) you should never think, At least I can be their friend; its better than nothing, or At least theyll be by my side.. Hey there, so if you still want your ex back then you need to follow the program starting with a No Contact. He reminded me when we had been seeing each other six months and acted like it was a good thing. I share with her about my friends and things I do. Im going to the gym. By purposefully putting yourself in the friend zone you will indirectly intimidate the new person your ex is with without actually doing anything wrong. I kept myself busy even though this was still painful. LOL 1 year later I stopped it again. After some time, he will turn around and notice your friendship isnt what he thought it would be. I never did. She cant think about the relationship and just wants her space. When your ex just wants to be friends, it is not necessary a bad thing. After going through all of that I can confidently say that there are three primary reasons for why an ex would want to remain friends with you after a breakup and all of them have to do with their own self interest. Your current partner might be aware of what went down between you and your ex. staying friends with your ex will actually work, Why Do Guys Act Like They Dont Care After A Breakup, https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/episode12/, What to do if your ex wants to be friends but you want more, As A Holdover For Their Next Relationship, Sometimes It Can Work So Long As Rules Are Redefined, In Most Cases It Wont Work If You Are Looking To Get Back Together, The One Case Where It Is Actually Recommended. It makes it easier when you bump into each other. Perhaps the relationship did not work out, or they did not want it to culminate in a marriage with no chemistry, but they still yearn for your friendship. As I said, if you want to be together with your ex again, and your ex boyfriend wants to be friends, (even if they say that they dont have feelings for you anymore), you shouldnt settle for being their side-chick or their friend with benefits unless this is something that actually makes you happy. Here are 6 tips for staying friends after getting a divorce. How do you think I should go about this cause Im stuck. Cut him off, live your live and limit his exposure to your life. Why Your Ex Would Want To Be Friends With You For Emotional Support. 1. There are all kinds of reasons why an ex wants to be friends, but one thing is for sure and that is that they still care about you. You just don't think it's a coincidence that she moved to your office or you bumped into her more often lately. You are, however, taken by surprise at your exs attempts to get closer. Weve been broken up for 8 months now and he has been in his relationship for 7 and a half months. He apologised and asked me to be friends. Moreover, your friends do not have to pick sides, avoiding a rift between your pals. I took a step back and left him alone. This has been debated many times on this board and I have seen it happen to me and my women friends in real life. I agreed, and then after we just didnt speak for two weeks aside form sending streaks on Snapchat-and I never opened his, trying to follow No Contact. This is your best shot at seeing how they feel about you after the breakup. Lets be friends for now, and well see where we stand later. The two times I was dumped, one wanted to be friends and one didn't. I got back with the one who wanted to be friends for about 4 years. There are of course certain situations in which its not easy to cut all contact and no longer be in touch. I have been with my husband for almost 6 years with 3 years of marriage. There is no more love between you but you realize your ex wants to stay friends and a friendship begins to blossom. I want to be able to communicate. Something tells me the sound of that doesnt make you exuberantly happy, as you now want even more than before, while your ex wants less or none. She was waiting to see if I would ever text her after that half call. You have to cut her off. I have been sensing that she may be letting a guy pursue her or being on dates. For example, if you do 30% of initiating, your ex must do 70%. Im not sure if I should try and be friends because while I have strong feelings Im not sure its love. If youre the one that left, they might be suggesting staying friends because they dont want everything to end so abruptly. I'm so happy my ex wants to be friends and doesn't despise me.". Please don't cry!") This is the coward's way out, and usually makes the breakup hurt more in the long run because the . As long as everything is fine and dandy, exes are not going to be concerned about their past behavior. Otherwise avoid being around him as much as you can and just go about your day as normal as if you are happy and indifferent to him being around. There are however universal attributes every person in this world finds attractive. Sussman also says there are potential downsides to staying friendly with an ex. In other words, its going to take longer to see success. I was upset when he suggested and told him off. My ex wants to be friends with me and I can still be close to them. So, I let him back in. I find it now that may be She only wants to be free from the utter guilt of doing something bad to me as a partner and a person by checking on me. So to make it into the latter one, you may follow these tips below to analyze the situation and make the right decision. I really had my heart set on all the plans we made and it hurts to think about never seeing him again. Ill go on with my life and be the best person I can be. I believe this kind of arrangement can work assuming both of you are getting something out of the relationship, support. In the complaint filed at Manhattan . Some individuals enjoy being the dominating one. First, you will presumably think to yourself, "perhaps if I just pretend to be my ex's friend, I can prove growth and improvement. What should I do? It might be something emotional and romantic or it could be something as practical as sharing the fuel expenses or using that club membership card that you had; in any case, your ex misses the perks of being a part of your life. So he wants to still be friends and text and hang out and do all the things like before just not have sex. Dr. Margaret Ann Dixon is a psychologist in private practice in the state of Nevada, USA. Your email address will not be published. I dont know how I feel in general about this all. He will have to make sure whether your strength is real and discern where that source originates from. I thought if I cut contact, we will lose entire things. He reasoned that he wanted me to be happy. He told me from the beginning he wanted to stay friends. He also said I helped made him a better person, he feels really good now, and that a continued relationship with us can never happen again. The less drama the better for everyone involved.. I feel bad for her mental health. by Chris Richardson. Your coach when your ex wants to be friends. We then spoke on the phone and he mentioned that it was so nice to hear my voice, but if we pursue a friendship we cant go into it with expectations or our fingers crossed. It can be a hard (but not impossible!) Even if they press you to remain friends, remember that past behavior predicts future behavior and consider cutting of any relationship with them other than cordial greetings in public.. Take time to come to terms with your feelings after the breakup. I was not expecting that, we were never boyfriend or girlfriend but we both acted like it and obviously set up red flags for each other by speaking about very serious things when we were together. She told me her reasons. Later he snapped me a video of himself goofing around with some friends later, which I responded to, and then after he snapped me again with a bland response, I just left him on opened. We have been three for three years before we got into our 6 year relationship. Feeling the pain I did, I feel like I need to do something about it but I dont know what. Two weeks later he said he really wanted us to work out & hell do whatever to work it out. 4. I told him that the mutual friend was only a colleague to me. According to a poll done on breakups by the Associated Press 36% of people have admitted to having sex with an ex at least one time. Perhaps they thought they would be with someone soon after the breakup. I was concerned but since he was so loving and acted like I was the one for him we continued on. Again, it all depends on the context and content of their message. You need to leave her alone until she becomes afraid, realizes your worth, and comes back. Which in I dont to be honest. Well me and my girlfriend weve been dating for around 3 years. He just came back and asked if he was allowed to be a part of my life. He says that he wants to be friends and doesnt know what the future holds. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Contact Us. Do not meet up with him for a while now. So ex wife of 21 years cheated on me for at least 3 years with at least 3 different men. Situations in which its not easy to cut all contact and wait for her to process breakup... It all depends on the context and content of their message other words, its going to take guess! Half months of 21 years cheated on me for at least 3 men. 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